Noted Decision Analysis researcher Bruno had just released his most comprehensive and complete psychoanalysis model to date. “This model is the grand finale – the culmination of long years of thought and research,” he said. And he paused for dramatic effect. “This, my friends, is Perfection”.
As the scribes scribbled furiously, a young reporter got up and asked,” What exactly does your Perfection do? And what is it exactly?”
“My Perfection is a theory – no, The Theory – that can predict exactly human behavior, given a set of input parameters”, replied Bruno.
“But that was already postulated and demonstrated by Doctor Spears twenty years ago!”, somebody said.
Bruno saw it coming. “That was a feeble attempt. A weak effort that satisfied itself with predicting human behavior only on a large scale. Any simpleton with a PhD could do it.”
Then his eyes narrowed. “But Perfection, my Perfect Theory, will predict individual behavior. Yours, Yours. And Yours. And all of Yours! Your very move, your very thoughts, your very next blink and itch – are mine to predict and mine to exploit. Nobody can escape it.” He raised his hands up toward the heavens and arched his back and proclaimed, “I am God!”
There was pin drop silence in the auditorium. A few people shuffled uneasily. The gathered journalists and scientists didn’t know whether he was joking or had simply gone insane.
Finally, somebody spoke up,” Uh, Professor Bruno. How does you theory work? What branch of science would this be?”
“Decision Analysis – the very purest, most exalted form of it.”
Later that day Bruno slipped down the stairs and fell to his death.
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